Neomodernism

Three Action Kamen Underwears for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Action Kamen Underwear to rule them all, One Action Kamen Underwear to find them,
One Action Kamen Underwear to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

Three Milki Bar Choos for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Milki Bar Choo to rule them all, One Milki Bar Choo to find them,
One Milki Bar Choo to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

Three Kung Fu Pandas for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Kung Fu Panda to rule them all, One Kung Fu Panda to find them,
One Kung Fu Panda to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

Three
Shamsher Sikandar Chuddie Badis for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One
Shamsher Sikandar Chuddie Badi to rule them all, One
Shamsher Sikandar Chuddie Badi to find them,
One
Shamsher Sikandar Chuddie Badi to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

I even thought of rewriting the whole lotr but it took more than a minute and I lost interest.